How Parents Can Support a Child With Test Anxiety
Watching your child struggle with test anxiety can feel frustrating and heartbreaking. You know they’ve studied hard, but when the test comes, fear and stress take over. As a parent, your support can make a world of difference. By understanding test anxiety and learning how to respond, you can give your child the tools they need to feel calm and confident.
In this guide, we’ll explore how parents can recognize test anxiety, what to say (and not say), and practical ways to help children manage their stress before and during exams.
What Is Test Anxiety in Children?
Test anxiety is a type of performance anxiety where the stress of taking a test feels overwhelming. It’s more than just “nervousness.” Children with test anxiety may:
Blank out on questions they know
Experience stomachaches, headaches, or racing heart
Worry excessively about failing or disappointing others
Avoid studying or school altogether
Knowing that test anxiety is real—and common—helps parents respond with compassion instead of pressure.
Why Parental Support Matters
Children look to their parents for reassurance. When parents understand how to support a child with test anxiety, they can turn stressful test days into opportunities for growth. Instead of feeling alone, kids feel safe, encouraged, and capable.
1. Validate Your Child’s Feelings
The most important step is to show empathy. Avoid phrases like “Don’t worry” or “It’s just a test.” These may minimize your child’s feelings. Instead, try:
“I can see this test feels stressful for you.”
“Lots of kids feel nervous before tests—it’s normal.”
“No matter what, I’m proud of the effort you put in.”
Validation helps children feel understood, which calms the nervous system.
2. Encourage Healthy Routines
Test anxiety often worsens when children are tired, hungry, or rushed. Parents can create routines that build resilience:
Sleep: Aim for 8–10 hours depending on age.
Nutrition: Provide a balanced breakfast with protein and whole grains on test days.
Exercise: Encourage physical activity to reduce overall anxiety.
Study habits: Promote consistent, shorter study sessions instead of cramming.
3. Teach Calming Techniques
Give your child simple tools to use when anxiety spikes:
Deep breathing: Practice box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4).
Positive self-talk: Replace “I’ll fail” with “I can try my best.”
Visualization: Encourage imagining themselves calmly working through the test.
Grounding exercises: Notice 5 things they can see, 4 they can touch, 3 they can hear, 2 they can smell, 1 they can taste.
4. Focus on Effort, Not Outcomes
Parents often unintentionally add pressure by focusing only on grades. Instead, celebrate progress and effort:
Praise hard work, not just test results.
Highlight other strengths (creativity, kindness, problem-solving).
Remind your child that one test does not define their intelligence or future.
5. Partner With Teachers and Schools
If test anxiety continues to disrupt learning, reach out to your child’s teacher or school counselor. Many schools offer accommodations such as:
Extra time on tests
A quiet testing environment
Breaks during exams
Collaboration ensures your child has the support they need both at home and in the classroom.
6. Know When to Seek Professional Help
If test anxiety causes frequent school refusal, high levels of anxiety, or a big drop in performance, it may be time to seek help from a therapist. Evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are highly effective for reducing anxiety in children.
Final Thoughts
Supporting a child with test anxiety is about understanding, patience, and practical tools. By validating their feelings, teaching coping skills, and focusing on effort rather than perfection, parents can help children face exams with confidence. With the right support, test anxiety doesn’t have to hold your child back.